Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Transition II

It has always been my habit to try to control everything around me. I've suppressed that in my life, knowing that "It's not fair." Now, I see that I need to do what I need to do for internally-driven reasons.

The egalitarian ideal is just that, an ideal. It can never be implemented faithfully, try as people might, and I waste my time and energy trying to conform. There is always a power balance that favors some and is denied others. I have been feeling the stirrings of my own power for several years but I've been whining and fearful about using it, afraid that it not fair to other people, that I would be making choices for them.

Now, I see it differently. I can't empower people to do what they want and need while holding myself back. If nothing else, being in charge of myself is a good example! My community, my family and my friends need me to do what I need to do just like I need them to do what they need to do.

Dang! That sounds so... libertarian!

Taarna's question: What do I value most? I value the ability to transform myself to define who I am and make myself more useful to the world.

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